The Power to Influence

Welcome to 2015!*  I remember the big Y2K concern, and we survived that with minimal impact.*  Now, fifteen years later, we are experiencing the beginning of another year.*  How fortunate we are!*  It’s a time that we return to “business as usual” after the holidays.

Last month I introduced the three “hunger triggers“ that create a compelling transformation in ourselves.*  We are so disengaged in our present that we must do something different for present and future.*  Briefly, the three triggers defined by Rick Tamlyn, author of “Play Your Bigger Game,” are:

• “No, not that!”
• * “What’s missing?”
• “More of that!”

Let’s continue this mindset for this month’s provocative topic, “The Power to Influence.”*  Dictionary.reference.com defines influence as “the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behaviors, opinions, etc. of another or others.”

Think about how preschool children influence others.*  They smile, they cry, they whine, they mimic, they point, and eventually they talk.*  As adults, regardless of what we are doing when a child cries it usually grabs our attention.*  Without even thinking about it, we as adults, are influenced by children’s behaviors.*  Think of being at a restaurant and a child is screaming in the booth next to you.*  You are influenced.*  Think of being at a department store and a child is loudly crying for a toy.*  You are influenced.*  You are still at the department store and a child is saying hello to everyone he/she passes by.*  You are influenced.*  You are tired and sitting in your favorite chair at home and your child comes up and crawls in your lap for your quiet attention.*  You are influenced.

Growing up, we all learned to respond to influence of others and how to influence others to get what we want (need).*  At work, we talk differently to our colleagues, clients, and our bosses.*  It may include different words, different hand gestures, different tone of voice, and more.*  Hopefully, we have learned to provide additional details to those who need it for most effective results.*  Hopefully, we have learned to provide a three-bullet recommendation to those who prefer a high-level explanation and then ask questions.*  For these individuals, we must be prepared to answer the questions asked with facts.*  No faking!*  If you don’t know, then you find out and share the information later.*  Otherwise, your influence is discredited.*  Hopefully, we have learned to anticipate disagreements and adapt to situations for influence and results. * All of these things are mere examples of influence.

Although we cover more than fifteen strategies for greater influence in our workshops, I’ll focus on three for this month.* *  They may be familiar to you and if so, please don’t stop reading.*  Ask yourself, if you know these strategies already, how are they working for you.*  Please read on for helpful and practical tips to modify your own influential behaviors for more effective results for all.*  Spoiler alert!*  If you are looking to get your way only:influence will only work on the short term.*  People are smart to pick up that they are being “manipulated” by someone else.*  Let me say this differently.*  This is a short-term influence with the results of resistance and distrust.

Strategy 1:

Demonstrate personal accountability by leading by example.*  Our words are important.*  However, how we say things and how we behave is 93 percent of interpretation.*  Yes, there is lack of accountability everywhere.*  To lead by example, own your words, how you say the words and your actions.*  In other words, admit mistakes, fix them and don’t make them again.*  Allow others to make mistakes by making them a “learning moment” instead of blame or complaint.*  According to “QBQ!” and “Personal Accountability” by John G. Miller, focus on what you can do to make a contribution.*  Stop waiting for someone else to make things better.

Strategy 2:

Perform with Integrity.*  While we own our words and actions, allow everyone else to play by the same rules.*  This is known as the “Bill of Rights” with assertiveness.*  What we offer to someone else, we accept as our own.*  What is offered to us we give back.* *  Let your conscious be your guide to do the right thing, the right way.*  In other words, perform with integrity.*  People know what you stand for.*  People can predict your values and your responses.* *  This is a simple method and complex to move into action; especially when you are standing alone.

Strategy 3:

Give, request, and expect commitment.*  What kind of environment do you work in your business?

• Meetings:*  Do your meetings start/end on time?*  Do you know why you and/or others are attending?*  Do you know the purpose of the meeting?*  Do you have any agenda?*  If so, is it followed?*  These answers begin defining your environment as operationally structured or operationally loose.
• Feedback:*  How is feedback provided?*  Immediately or at the annual performance review?*  How is praise offered?*  (Yes, I said praise.)*  How is dissatisfactory results offered?
• Success:*  How do you help others succeed at work?*  How do others help you succeed?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg to get you thinking about your hunger triggers, your words, your actions, and what you are going to do.*  There is much more to consider.*  Please consider how you are demonstrating these three strategies to influence others. * * Continue to review these three strategies as stepping stones to influence others for the good of the work, the organization, and for you.

To learn more about this topic, please contact Learning Alliances at 217.935.0209 or info@learning-alliances.com.